Two Reasons

There are several reasons, but here the top 2 reasons (in no particular order) why I resigned from my job:

1.

2.

Bittersweet

This is a very bittersweet time for me.

1. Surgery
As I posted yesterday, we are 9 days and counting from Spencer's palate surgery at Vanderbilt. While I am thankful it is here and hopeful for the ways it will improve certain things, of course I am apprehensive about my baby boy undergoing major surgery and having to spend time in the ICU.

2. Mobility
I am thankful the babies are meeting appropriate developmental milestones, but they are very tiring to keep up with. It involves things like bumps on the head and not being able to leave the room to even go to the bathroom. But it sure is fun to watch one chase you down in the kitchen, like they can't get to you fast enough. :)

3. Growing babies
In about 6 weeks, we will be celebrating a very important first birthday. How in the world is that possible?! That's bittersweet in and of itself. Yes, I am glad those newborn days are over (definitely don't have the 'itch' just quite yet) but I also am not wishing the time away. We are in such a fun stage right now!

4. Work
I haven't said anything to you "out there," but tomorrow (Tuesday) is my last day at BGHS. I have officially resigned from my job as a high school math teacher so that I can be a stay-at-home mommy. While this was not the easiest decision, it is for sure the best thing for not only me but my family.

Once I went back to work, I kept waiting for it to get easier. As we settled into our new routine, it just got harder and harder. My perspective had changed. Things weren't the same. Teaching Algebra just didn't quite have the same effect on me as I knew my two little ones were at home with someone else. Not that E didn't do a fantastic job - she absolutely did - but I was jealous of her because she was doing what I wanted to do. And I was pretty miserable at work. It just didn't feel like a good fit for me anymore.

The Lord was pulling on my heart to trust Him and live by faith. To simplify our lifestyle so we wouldn't miss the second income as much. And my loving, amazing husband was supportive of whatever decision I made.

I decided to not go back after Thanksgiving. And here we are.

I told my students today. They were in shock. I am praying for the continued influence in their lives, as I always viewed my teaching position as my mission field (as all our jobs are). I still can not process that tomorrow is my last day...and I won't be returning. I realized tonight I've never had a last day where everyone else wasn't leaving, too. I've never quit a job.

But this is what I need to do. And I'm confident this is the Lord's leading. I'm confident that He had me go back to work so that I could learn these lessons. I am confident in this. And I'm terrified at the same time.

I have been truly blessed by this job. The Lord dropped it in my lap at the PERFECT moment 3 years ago. When I was ready to give up on teaching altogether after an awful first year, my phone rang with the principal asking me to interview when I never even knew the job existed. I teach with some pretty amazing people - people that will do ANYTHING for you and have your back.

So, bittersweet it is.

Some Information

In 10 days, Spencer will be undergoing his second surgery. This one is a palate reconstruction. We are preparing for a hospital stay of 7 days.

Some people aren't really aware of what cleft lip/palate is, and how they do the repairs on a patient like Spencer. I thought I would include some information here.

Cleft lip and cleft palate comprise the most common birth defect in the United States. One of every 600 newborns is affected by cleft lip and/or cleft palate.

A cleft lip is a separation of the two sides of the lip. The separation often includes the bones of the upper jaw and/or upper gum. A cleft palate is an opening in the roof of the mouth in which the two sides of the palate did not fuse, or join together, as the unborn baby was developing. Cleft lip and cleft palate can occur on one side (unilateral cleft lip and/or palate), or on both sides (bilateral cleft lip and/or palate).
-The Cleft Palate Foundation, cleftline.org

(Spencer's cleft is bilateral.)

How will they correct a cleft palate?
As with cleft lip repair, the tissue of the palate is detached and rearranged to close the cleft. There is generally no need to take tissue from other parts of the body for this procedure. The muscles of the soft palate are also repositioned to allow for the best possible function for speech. The primary goal of repairing the palate is to achieve acceptable speech.

palate opening before
(the dotted lines show incisions made during surgery)

repaired palate after surgery (showing stitched tissue)

What's truly amazing is that the mouth and lips are formed in the first 10 weeks of pregnancy. Right there at the very beginning. Before we even knew we were having two babies, they BOTH were being "stitched" together by the Creator. And then, from 20 weeks to 35 weeks, we had 5 ultrasounds. FIVE. Never knew of this until the very last one. Six days before Spencer and Kate joined us in this world, we found out about Spencer's cleft.

In that last ultrasound, we were able to see some things that we had never seen before. By that point, we had so many that the tech showed us as many organs and things that he could. I distinctly remember him telling us that we were looking at our little boy that I watched on the screen as he turned his face towards us. Like he was staring at us. Ready to meet his parents. I was filled with joy as I knew that I was looking into the face of my son.

Come to find out, it was that moment, that turning of the face, that would show the doctors his cleft lip/palate. He had never so clearly turned his head like that.

It's truly a blessing that the Lord chose to withhold this information until the perfect time. What would it have been like if in my 8 weeks of bedrest, as I researched everything I could, I also researched cleft lip and palate? I do believe that would have increased my anxiety. I do believe that would have stolen some of the joy I had in having twins. I do believe the fear and unknown would have set up shop in my heart. But also, what if we never would have found out? What if when we saw his face for the first time on December 29 we saw a separation in his lip? If we weren't prepared for the struggles in feeding and nursing? What if our emotions and hearts hadn't had a chance to reason through the reality of it all....that we had a very healthy and perfect son and daughter...and everything else would be fine. I needed a few days to get there. The Lord gave me those days in the time between December 23 and December 29.

You see, the Lord's timing is perfect. It's absolutely perfect.

Mobility

I'll just go ahead and sound cliche...they are getting so big!

Wow. I can't believe it.

We have 2 mobile, crawling, pulling, stooping, sitting, cruising, standing babies.

I'm talking crawling on hands and knees, stooping down to pick up a toy, pulling up on the couch, climbing in your lap, waving bye-bye, walking along the couch to get to the table where there is inevitably SOMETHING that is not baby-friendly.

One funny thing (and sometimes not so funny) about having two babies that are the same age is that they get compared. A lot. But yet it is super fun to see how we truly just have two siblings - two tiny different little people, that were simply born at the same time.

Kate has been working on her crawling skills for AT LEAST 2 months. Getting up on her hands and knees, rocking, army crawling, and then last week she finally figured how to go somewhere without having to go backwards to get there or pull along on her belly.


Spencer, on the other hand, is so not like that. If you have talked to Stuart or me lately, you'll remember us saying that we were convinced Spencer would be one of those babies who never crawled. He would just start walking because he hates being on his belly so much. Fits of screaming accompany tummy time. But last week he finally figured out how to get from his dreaded position on his belly back up to sitting. Then Monday he just decided to crawl on his hands and knees. Like it was nothing. I think he's been watching his practicing sister for the past 2 months to figure out how to do it.

Now he's a huge stinker and won't stay still. His increased confidence and excitement to explore is both hilarious and exhausting.

Doesn't this look like the face of a scheming plot against Mom and Dad?

Because wouldn't you know it, they go opposite directions most of the time. But sometimes they're sweet and play nice with one another. Or by play nice I mean pull hair and use the other to stand up or sit on.

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

- I definitely wasn't the teacher that was so frustrated with one of her classes inability to be quiet after finishing a quiz on Friday that she gave 2 problems impromptu to do letting them know it was worth a grade....and then threw it away when they left the room. Nope, a good teacher wouldn't do that. So it wasn't me. Every assignment I give is "rigorous and relevant."

-You didn't see me drive off not once, but twice this week from a restaurant with a drink on top of the van. It was someone else in a red van with two crazy cute kiddos in the back. Nope. I would never be so scatterbrained to do that and have Coke running down the windows of my vehicle.

-I definitely did not use a handful of M&M's this week as a substitute for a meal. Nope. I understand the importance of balanced nutrition.

-It wasn't this momma who dressed her 10 month old daughter in her brother's day clothes for pajamas because it had been so long since laundry was done. I stay on top of laundry and fold and put it away as soon as I'm finished.

-It surely wasn't me who took her babies to the doctor in her pajama pants that actually look like they could be comfortable around-the-house pants. Every morning, I get up and pull myself together to face the day before my family gets up. It would be crazy to sleep in and go the pediatrician in the same pants.

(Don't judge. I didn't do these things.)

Homecoming on the Hill

This past weekend was WKU's Homecoming, which is always a sweet time for me. That usually means I get to see some of my favorite people in the world, the people I went to college with. Last year at this time, I had just been put on my "modified" bed rest (like the week before), and our sweet friends from college came to our house to throw us a fabulous baby shower. Stuart and I are so incredibly blessed by these people, and because many have moved out of Bowling Green, any chance to get to see them is a sweet one. Plus, we were excited to take Kate and Spencer to campus, show them where Momma and Daddy met and fell in love, and attend the annual BSU (er, I mean BCM) Alumni Reception.

always fun to hang out with our good buddy Sawyer!

some very special ladies
(sabrina - i HATE that you are not in this pic!)

A Word From Our Sponsors...

A few things to note about this video...

1. This is the word (sound) Spencer says the best, which is why he repeats it over and over and over.... (and yes, this is all the time)

2. He just finished a cup feeding, which is why he's incredibly messy.

3. Waving is a new skill/trick (like in the past week)

4. Life is never ever boring anymore. Like ever.